Feeling Helpless

Every day my kids get homework and everyday it's a struggle with Michael. I am at the end of my rope with him. I am not mad at him but with the system of help. Michael is 7 years old, he was in Kindergarten twice, and does not know his ABC's or 123's. We (my husband & I) have tried many times to teach him but no matter what we do he does not retain it. I am not sure what to do. The school is like "you need to make him try" really? I have tried! you're not here with us, you don't know what we do or don't! I am so over the school thinking it falls solely on us, I know as his parent I need to do what I can which I am but no one seems to think hey the kid could have a disability. I have tried to get a doctors opinion but insurance only covers certain doctors and the one he has gave me ME a paper had ME fill it out then said he has A.D.H.D. (which is what I wrote on the paper!) without ever talking to Michael. I want a doctor who can look at Michael and talk to Michael then give me a true reason why he is having such a hard time. I know my son can be stubborn it comes from me lol but still I doubt he would wanna do this and never move on with his life. I have seen him love school and work, he is an overachiever when he is told to do something he wants to do, and do it right! not do an okay job. The school claims they cannot move on to get him proper help until he does something like write his name or so on which I have seen his papers he does this so I am not sure what that is about. But if they can't get that much out of him why can't there be a problem before that?? I mean why does he have to show he can't how do you show you can't??? I am just lost on what to do I know he is not stupid I know he wants to learn but he just really seems not to be able to. He is a hands on child...hum maybe I should try teaching him his ABC's with braile. Honestly also I think he is dyslexic which no one has tried to point out, the teacher he had for 2 years in Kindergarten agreed that that could be an issue but people just assume at a young age that it's cause they are young and learning. I hope to find an answer before it's to late, cause I don't wanna make him feel like he just can't, and that he is "special" cause all kids have issues and we always have a way to work through it for the benefit of everyone.